HAHA

I miss YOU

We used to sing together.

You were once a stranger.
You were once mine.
Tell me what are you now?

What happened to us?
What happened to all the laughs we used to have?
What happened to all the tears we used to share?
What happened to us?

Can't you see?

It was always you.
I was always yours.
You were always mine.

What happened to us?
What happened to you?

Who are you now?
Where are you now?















*sigh

130489 >> last.memory.of.you

We're different.
In none other than one way.
I want you.
You need me.
We can never be together.
You don't believe in together.
I gotta stop making memories of us.
It never exist.

I used to be alright.
I used to be fine.
Then, you happened.

I don't need this.
I don't need us.
I need YOU.

What do you want?
It's the right moment.
It's the right time.
You're the right one.
How come nothing goes right?

You haven't been in any of my dreams.
You've been in my days.
My something real.

Can't you see?
It just had to be me.
For it had to be you.



This is the last memories of you.
So, goodbye.

THIS.IS.IT

This is my now.

This is my moment.

This is me. Leaving you.

This is me. Giving up on you.

I'm going to smile like nothing's wrong.

I'm going to talk like everything's perfect.

I'm going to act like it's all dream.

I'm going to pretend it's not hurting me.

Goodbye to you.

he said........

I'm speechless.

you.delete.me.

There's something in the way.

There's something getting through.

But it's not me. It's YOU.

love.hurts.me.

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart, and it means that someone can get inside you,
and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor.
So that nothing can hurt you.
Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life.

You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask you for it.
They just did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you,
and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages.
It gets inside of you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness.

So simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'you deserve better',
turns into a glass splinter working it's way into your heart.

And it hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt.
A real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-pain.


Love hurts me.
Like always.

a world without YOU.

Just Go!
Don't talk to me.

I would wanna touch you.
I would wanna hold you.
I would wanna kiss you.
I would wanna make you mine.

Don't bother.
I'm living a perfect world.
A life without you.

Go.
This is my world.
A perfect world.
Where I can see you smile.
Where you don't get to see me cry.
And world where you don't love me.

A world without you.

whatever!

" Hey YOU. yes yes YOU. you know what? I don't care anymore! "

congratulation!

" CONGRATULATION!! YOU LOST ME. "

adios pii.

marengo tis square
between afternoon and night

alone-lonely and missing him.

lagi2 tempat ini selalu yg gue datengin klo gue lagi pengen sendiri.
lagi pengen mikir. lagi ga bsa mikir. haha

dari tadi malem gue mikir. mikir. dan ga berenti mikir smpe detik ini.
how come?
koq bsa ya dia blg gtu ke gue?
dia pikir gue ga punya hati kali ya?
ga bsa sakit gtu?
apa kurang ya pengertian gue selama ini?
yang harus terima semua keadaan dia yg sebener2nya bikin gue sakit sih. sakit banget malah.

gue bingung deh. heran. ga habis pikir.
buat gue yg namanya cinta itu bukannya ga bsa dibagi ya?
emang bsa ya kita mencintai dua orang sekaligus dalam waktu bersamaan?
dengan kadar yang sama pula. klo gue ga bsa.
mungkin dia bisa. ya kayanya sih dia bisa. buktinya dia bisa.

perasaan gue campur aduk saat ini.
kesel. kangen. marah. kecewa. sedih. semuanya jd satu.
ga tau harus ngapain. jdnya cuma bisa diem aja nahan semuanya.
tapi satu hal yang gue tau saat ini. gue harus bisa pergi dari dia.
harus bisa. harus kuat. harus pokoknya.
i deserve someone who'll love me and only me.

ga gampang memang. krna gue udah sayang sama dia.
dan sebenernya tanpa gue sadari dia buat gue punya harapan lagi buat bisa percaya kalo gue bisa mencintai. thanks to him for that. setidaknya gue tau hati gue blm mati. haha
dan, sesuatu yang dia ga tau. yang ga pernah sedikitpun terucap dari mulut gue.
gue yakin dan percaya gue lebih mencintai dia. gue tau.
bukannya gue sok tau. bisa aja gue salah. tapi gue ga asal ngomong juga.
saat dia ngaku dosa sama gue ttg siapa 'dia' yang ternyata msh berhubungan juga sama org skitar gue.
gue tiba2 pengen tau. yg sblm2nya ga pernah mau tau tiba2 jadi kepo gilaaaa. my bad. :(
i've search about her in every single way i can. i shouldnt do that. but i did it.
and i found the fact that she doesnt love him that much.
apa ya? gue ga rela aja. ga rela ngorbanin org yang gue sayang buat org yg gue tau ga bener2 sayang sama dia kya gue sayang sm dia.
tapi gue sadar itu bukan urusan gue. gue ga berhak nyampurin urusan mereka.
adanya gue aja udah salah. biarin aja dia tau sendiri tentang hal itu.
cepet atau lambat dia pasti tau koq.
gue percaya yang namanya hati itu bisa ngerasain koq mana yg tulus mana yg ngga.
tadinya gue percaya itu.
smpe tadi malem. dia buat gue hopeless. alasan yang dia kasih ke gue ga bsa gue terima.
gue rasa, gue udah cukup toleransi. cukup sabar. cukup ngerti. cukup bego malah.
tapi gue juga punya batas kaliii. gue ga bsa dong nunggu selamanya?
helloooo, time is running boy! and i can't wait forever.
dari apa yg dia blg ke gue kyanya gue harus nunggu dia lama banget.
lamaaa banget pokoknya dan untuk sesuatu yang ga pasti lagi.
my God. sorry, yes i do love you. but i'm not that stupid.
and i decided to leave him.
biarin sakit. biarin sedih. biarin biarin biarin.
daripada kedepannya gue lebih sakit lagi.
gue pengen matiin semua perasaan yg udah terlanjur ada.
gue juga ga nyalahin dia koq atas smua keadaan ini.
biarpun, jujur kadang pengen bgt ngomong ke dia "apa maksudnya deketin aku? buat aku syg sama kmu?buat aku punya harapan ke kmu? klo cuma ini yg akhirnya bsa kmu kasih ke aku?"
tapi gue sadar gue juga salah. jd ya udahlah relain aja.
gue yakin dia juga ngerasain sakit koq, walaupun mungkin sekarang ga sesakit gue skrg.
krn setidaknya dia ga sendiri. dan dia yg memilih, bukan yang dipilih ( gue anggep aja dia ud milih kali yaa)
dan klo apa yg gue liat ternyata bener, gue tau dia bakal inget gue dan nyeselin apa yg udah dia pilih skrg. tapi demi Tuhan gue berharap gue salah. kalopun gue bener, gue harap Tuhan buat cewe itu nyadarin kalo dia punya org yg bener2 sayang sm dia. org yg gue pengen bgt bsa jd punya gue. gue harap dia ga nyia2in apa yg dia udah punya. krn sesakit apapun gue skrg, gue ga pengen liat dia sakit.
gue cuma pengen dia bahagia. biarpun tanpa gue. klise memang. tapi itulah yang lo lakukan saat lo bener2 menyayangi seseorang.

"Smoga kmu bahagia ya pii. aku slalu doain yg terbaik buat kmu.
dan makasih udah pernah ngasih aku cinta biarpun cuma sesaat."

kyanya gue nulis panjang banget ya?
hahaha. biar lega. soalnya ga bsa ngomong lsg ke orgnya.
ga bsa ngomong juga ke sahabat2 gue. klo ngomong pasti pengen nangis.
pdhal gue udah ga mau lagi nangis buat masalah ini.
dan gue udah janji sama dia klo gue bakal baik2 aja.
jd cuma dsni gue bisa nyampah, hahaha.
dan kyanya beberapa waktu kdpn bakal sering nyampah dsni.
smpe hati gue sembuh. gue yakin pasti sembuh.
gue pernah ngerasain yg lebih sakit dari ini dan gue bisa survive koq.
gue percaya Allah sayang sama gue. dan suatu saat nanti gue akan bener2 bisa bahagia.
amin.
pray for me then! :)

cheers,
brokenheartedgirl.

dyara

hey you..

" I can be both. A patient woman and a jealous girl. "

:(

" How i miss someone to hold when hope begins to fade. "

cupii, happy new year..

Happy New Year Cupii !
miss yoouuu :(

Happy New Year :)

" Happy New Year 2011 everyone!! "